Reading a book that speaks to the heart of what you are feeling so perfectly, is a rare gift to be savoured. And that’s how I feel about Wabi Sabi – Japanese wisdom for a perfectly imperfect life, it is a book to be savoured.

It is the book you pick up and muse over a section. Turn to any page and find something beautiful or a simple piece of wise insight. A book that explores a concept of presence that, at its very heart, is mindful living. It is a personal, delightful, honest and earnest book. Beth gently challenges preconceptions about life, through her exploration of the Japanese concept of ‘wabi sabi’ 侘寂 and then takes the reader on a journey to see how it can be applied to their lives—with the goal of being more connected, grateful and satisfied with being perfectly imperfect.

Wabi sabi is a state of the heart. It is a deep in-breath and a slow exhale. It is felt in a moment of real appreciation – a perfect moment in an imperfect world. We can nurture it with our willingness to noticed details and cultivate delight. And we experience it when we are living the most authentic, most inspired versions of our lives. — Beth Kempton

Having visited Japan, I can see the ripples of the rarely spoken of concept of wabi sabi. It can be seen in the thousands of people who flood the parks for to take in the sakura (cherry blossoms) or to see the leaves turn golden in the autumn. It is in their traditional pottery and lacquer-ware, it is in their Buddhist temples and zen gardens—the essence of wabi sabi can be seen and experienced around every corner, but it is also within Japanese people and their language.

Why does Wabi Sabi resonate?

Do you know the feeling that there is something you are missing, and it sits with you for months, even years? Or do you hear in your mind “Is this it?! Is this what life is truly meant to be?”—the question you ask as you haul yourself into work, flustered and late from the school drop-off only to be greeted by a role that does not fulfil you, but gratefully pays the bills. Or is it the feeling of completely ‘failing at life’ as you scroll mindlessly through beautifully curated Instagram feeds and compare your life to theirs at the end of a long day?

MY HAND IS UP! I have felt all of those things, and you may have too.

We are sleep walking through our days, senses dulled, spending much of our time cooped up in boxes, paying more attention to social media than to the exploration of our own lives, in all their rich potential. For some time now, I have been hearing the growing rumblings of a slow revolution, a yearning for a simpler, more meaningful life. A life infused with beauty, connected to nature, thrumming with the energy of everyday well-being and built around what matters to us.

Now, that resonates. A more meaningful life.

The forces of life (and the expectations of others) can often tow us along, rather than us taking the drivers seat. We tick off the list the things that are expected of us—university, career, marriage, children—and then what? We have achieved so many amazing things, yet have they have not always been savoured and enjoyed, but too often barely registered in the race to the next milestone.

This is something I am guilty of and Wabi Sabi vocalised for me the internal yearning for taking stock and looking at the world in a different way—with a state of curiosity, gratitude and intention.

Here are three pieces of wisdom from Wabi Sabi which are at the heart of a “more meaningful life”:

Mono no aware 物の哀れ

Awareness of the fleeting beauty of life.

A common example used by the Japanese being the beauty to be found in a cherry blossom—knowing that it will be fleeting and will soon vanish. This holds so true for taking in the joy of our children. There is no denying that parenting is a really tough gig; it will often bring you to your knees wishing for the day to end. But within the day there are so many small opportunities to relish the joy and wonder as they learn something new or discover the world around them.

All too soon the endless pile of nappies will be replaced with piles of Lego; and our once dependant little people will be out in the world on their own. Even after just five years of parenting the old adage ‘the days are long, but the years short’ rings so true. But ‘mono no aware’ is a beautiful way of reminding us to find the beauty in amongst the struggle and embrace it. Drink it in and savour it—for like the petal the moment will soon vanish.

Acceptance

Beth dedicates a whole chapter to ‘Acceptance and letting go’ and it is space well used to focus on the personal empowerment found by letting go of perfection and finding acceptance of our past, present and future with an open heart. This is a core principle of mindfulness and it can be a challenging path to go down; but once ventured it has the potential to provide freedom. Freedom from fear of the future, regret of the past and disconnect from the present. This is the gift of acceptance, that once embraced is life changing.

Acceptance is not about giving up or giving in. It’s about surrendering to the truth of what is happening, and then playing an active role in deciding what happens next…with clarity, compassion and a degree of ease.

Flexibility is strength. Be like the bamboo.

Acceptance is also recognition that things change, nothing is truly permanent and nowhere stays completely still. It may be fast or slow, or in between—but it is consistent in its predictability.

When we are stubborn in our quest for stability (where things stay the same), we are lured into believing that we have control. But this is an illusion. We build ourselves up on a tower that is precarious, and when that stability is compromised through the inevitable struggles that appear in life like a terrible boss, illness or worse, the shock can be overwhelming. Our rigidity hasn’t equipped us to be resilient.

Acceptance is a concept that I have struggled with out of a desire for perfection. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I would not do it at all—I was constantly seeking the safety of stability. And this is not uncommon. Throughout my childhood and into my teens and early adulthood stability was held to be the holy grail of success. Get a good job that provides a good future and stick with it FOREVER because you NEED stability. But with life experience comes some wisdom, and I am re-educating myself to not see blind stability or perfection as a measure of success.

It is acceptance that perfection is never attainable, that the full richness of life can be found in imperfection, and by surrendering to the truth of the present then we can play an active role in our future. Beth poetically explains this acceptance through the lens of wabi sabi, with beautiful recollections of conversations with her mentors and friends. This is what makes this book so personal and endearing when challenging potentially long held beliefs and awakening introspection.

Connecting with nature

There is a lovely phrase in Japanese, kachoō fūgetsu (花鳥風月). It literally means flower-bird-wind-moon. It refers to contemplating the beauty of nature. This kind of contemplation can prompt reflection on our own inner nature and remind us of our role as part of a magnificent whole, which puts everything in perspective.

Taking time to be in nature is not only good for the soul, it is a way of sharpening our senses, focusing on the rhythm of the seasons and the flow of our organic home. As we move at a break-neck pace into the technologically advanced future, we are further disconnected from our roots. Having grown up in the country, where our very existence was in part dictated by the weather, I feel the flow of the land and the seasons in my very core.

When the mind is full and the senses bombarded by adverting, devices, options, opinions and stress; it is difficult to focus on how we are part of something grand. Nature reminds us of mono no aware, to accept the impermanence of life and bathe in the present.

♥

If there is one book you read as the year draws to a close and the start of a new decade dawns, please pick up ‘Wabi Sabi – Japanese wisdom for a perfectly imperfect life’ by Beth Kempton. It will give you many ideas to contemplate and if nothing else, a beautiful glimpse into a fascinating aspect of Japanese culture. Though I challenge you not to be deeply touched by this stunning walk down a very personally reflective path.

Visit Beth’s website to learn more about this beautiful writer and her other books.

Go well in your week ahead!